Monday, January 17, 2011

Peace and Chaos

In my world today there are both.  Peace I'm left with after spending a wonderful weekend with amazing people at the Hypnosis Certification Training;  (I'm relaxed,.... Breathing deeply,.... Feeling good,.... Feeling fine,..... Good);.... 

....and then there's the chaos.  There is present such an underlying sense that 'the world' is falling apart in some way - not in a visual, "easily seen' way (although some of that is happening too), but more 'subterannean' if you will.  'Under the covers', where it's not easily seen by 'the eyes of man', even when it's right below our noses.  Things looks tidy, nice, and oh so pretty (even in 'close' relationships) to the perviewing, judgmental eye, and the analytical brain easily takes over saying, "All is well in my world."

To me, I see marked signs of that chaos in 'good-looking' relationships I see, and in the function or organizations I am familiar with.  The structure looks good, but the function is failing. 

When I put my attention to it (and sometimes even when I don't) the rumble of discontent is unmistakable.  That sense of chaos 'on the move' has even been interrupting my night's sleep at times, with a sense of impending 'explosion' or 'implosion' of some sort.  I look at my own physical surroundings, keenly investigating, and the plans and doings of my own days, and I seem to see nothing amiss.  I've been asking for feedback from a few closely trusted 'others' in my life, to help me with this.  Honest feedback help me see better, even when it doesn't feel all that good sometimes.  Honest feedback always helps me make more sound assessments and decision about things.  But, the feedback I'm getting so far is that as far as what I am personally responsible for, nothing seems awry.  (Of course, there are always adjustments to be made in our own lives, internally and externally, but even that doesn't explain what's 'left over' here, after doing all I can do.)

The rumble of 'chaos' remains.


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