Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Creation is 'Springing'

I knew that after my heart surgeries I 'felt different'.  I didn't know 'how different', maybe still don't.  All I know is that there's been such an 'inflow' of creation the last 3 weeks or so, that it's been all I could do to 'get to down'.  My feeling is that there will be much good stuff produced from this time period.  I've had 'inspiration' before, but this is different somehow.

After writing, I read it back and I say to myself, "Wow, that really sounds good - like what I've always wanted to say, but couldn't quite do the way it is here, now."  When I look at the calendar, all I see are openings for scheduling of productions.  Workshops, trainings, classes, books, manuals, articles.... mostly 'new work'.  And opportunities to publish have opened up without my 'trying'.  It's really a marvelous thing, because what's 'coming to form' now, has been rolling around 'in spirit' for years - some even as long as I can remember.  I've just never been quite able to 'get it into form' just this way until now.  I feel a sort of relief from a tension that I've been holding inside all along, being somewhat aware of the stress, but totally unaware of what was causing it.  Feels so much to be able to actually DO something with all this energy!

 I'm having to pay close attention to keeping a balance in just living life as a human - remembering to eat, shower, exercise, all that stuff.  So many nights I've been awakened from sleep, or 'unable' to sleep after going to bed, and could only rest after I'd had another 'brain dump'.

And another thing- I knew that I've become more of a 'no nonsense' kind of person, and able to speak with more clarity regarding fundamental issues (I've felt that, and received that feedback).  But as my posts on Facebook have become lately, to my own ears my words sound as if they could be taken even as 'harsh' somewhat.  I'm not 'nice' at all.  Of course, I've said for years that "I almost died of terminal niceness," so maybe that isn't such a bad thing.


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