Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Being accurate

A family member said to me, "Gwyn, when you told me that you'd recently had days when you took 2-3 hour naps, sometimes twice a day, I heard it as: You were 'just busy', but didn't want to say so."

I try to be as accurate as I can when I speak, and told her so.  What I'd said was what had actually happened.  She didn't believe me, but told me she felt I was being defensive, and she was "just trying to be nice".  She told me (very patiently) that she understood if I didn't want people to know what I had actually been doing, and that "telling little stories was OK".

I tried again, but it ended still with misunderstanding.  We live in different worlds.

Thinking back now, I can remember being taught as a child in my family that people usually don't say what they mean.  My life was full of 'manipulation of impressions'.  I've changed since then, and my experience of life has too.  Apparently, it has't changed much for her.  We've had different experiences, and have ended up with such different beliefs.  I've noticed before that she and I each experience the same sets of life circumstances differently, ascribing different meanings. 

It's been said, "We hear, see, and understand from where we are".  That's my sense too.


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