Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Robe

Yesterday I had my follow-up appointment with my heart surgeon.  He said I'm doing great.  He also dropped a bomb on me.  He suggested I should think about coming in within the next month or so for hip and knee replacement.  I know my osteo-arthritis in my back and right hip and knee has been painful, but somehow I'd thought I needed more time after open-heart surgery.  Apparently not.  I'm not sure how this will play out, but I know it will happen - somehow.  Lots of details.

As I was driving yesterday, I was drawn to stop into a clothing store for a moment.  First time since my surgery.  I didn't think I was really up to trying clothing on, so I was puzzled about why I needed to go in.  With a little hesitation, I did anyway.  Inside there was lots of beautiful clothing, and a section way in the back that really drew my attention.  I threaded my way through the racks until I was standing right in front of one certain rack.

Since I was a little girl I've felt drawn to 'robes' of different sorts.  Bathroom-type robes had to do for years, but they didn't quite fill the bill.  When I was older, I made a robe or two to wear with my everyday clothing, but I was too self-conscious to wear the robes without feeling embarrassed.  They weren't the style, and I got 'looks'.  But I've always had that sense of wearing a robe hovering somewhere in the back of my mind.  In my dreams I have often seen myself dressed in a robe of some sort.  Often, that's how I recognized myself.

In the last few weeks I've often had the thought come clearly to my mind that there were still things I needed to do in this life.  Nothing has come to the forefront specifically, but the thoughts has been definite.  I've been wondering what the future might hold.  I've actually been looking a bit for a 'path' of some sort to help guide my way.  That's always seemed to happen before in my life.  A path of some sort appeared, and I'd walk upon it toward what seemed to be my destiny.

In the clothing store, I went directly to a rack that had beautiful, dressy, robes.  There were many colors, but the simple black and white drew my attention the most.  There was only one.  I pulled it off the rack, tried it on, and it was a perfect fit.  I didn't want to take it off.  It felt so 'right'.  It felt as if it had been made just for me.  Wondering why, that morning I'd happened to put into my wallet exactly the right amount of money needed to purchase the robe. Perfect.

The robe is now hanging in plain site next to my computer.  I know when it will be time to wear it, and for what.  It seems to give me the hope and direction I was seeking.  I can settle now, and just take it one step at a time, to whatever is my destination.


Pat Goodeill said...

I feel the same about shawls. I loved making them and giving them away. I am looking forward to doing that again. For now, I'm loving wrapping myself in their warmth! Enjoy your lovely robes!

Gwyneth McNeil said...

Awesome Pat! I'd love to see you in one of your shawls! I can see the goddess of you in my mind's eye, shining in a shawl.

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