Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Understanding and forgiveness

As I am resting lots and lots, I am having much time to ponder.  I'm amazed.  Even though I yet have much healing to do, my heart is working better than it ever has before - at least as long as I can remember.  All of my life I have heard accusations that I was "faking it" whenever I just wasn't feeling well.

Yes, I believe children often try to pull the "I'm not feeling well" card to get out of something they don't want to do.  I probably have too,

But more than not, I've been told by parents, siblings, spouse, others "Come on, it's not that bad" and "Buck up, you're not really hurting" and "I'm sure if you really tried you'd feel just fine".  Now I know they just didn't understand.  Neither did I.  Following their lead, I've been hard on myself as well.

Now I can forgive them - and myself.    Forgiveness is such a balm.  An amazing peace comes with it.  Ummm.  Nice.


Sterling said...

Hi Gwyn, We are our worst critic.... And it takes a life changing surgery or other event for others and our self to under stand. I am glad for you that you had to go in for a racing heart, as to find one other problem.

So now you should really be on the mends! You are still in my thoughts and prayers...


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